Student Reflections #SOL16

I had my students reflect on their writing so far this year. They have taken about seven or eight pieces through the entire writing process, some nonfiction and some fiction. They read back through their writing and were able to see how they've grown so far this year. They noticed things like being able to "show don't tell" their reader by including great description, figurative language and strong word choice. They know how to include dialogue to move their story along and bring their characters to life. They see the importance of having a strong lead to grab their reader. The recognize the mechanical errors they had in the beginning of the year as compared to more recently. This is what I heard around the room as they looked at their pieces:

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe I did that! Look Frances, I didn't even capitalize my sentence!"

"My lead is so boring Ms. Fahey. My last story was so much more interesting. I really grabbed my reader."

"Ms. Fahey, can I correct this story? I see so many run-on sentences that it doesn't even make sense."

Amazing, right? This was so rewarding. It's one thing for me to tell my students how they've grown and what they need to work on, but with this reflection, my students recognize their own growth as writers and can also see where they're still growing and their goal areas.

Mornings SOL#16

I love my mornings.  I'm up before anyone else in the house. My dog wakes me, walking back and forth on the bed. My cat slowly stretches out from being curled up next to me. I take them out, while the coffee is brewing. When the coffee is ready, I pour a cup, curl up in my chair, pulling out my computer, and I begin to read blogs I love, check email, and these days, write. I love reading through the posts linked on TWT for SOL#16. This has become my daily inspiration. I begin my writing, get my thoughts down, go back, reread and revise. Finally, I post. All this in the quiet of morning, before everyone is up and the day begins.

If We Look Around #SOL16

I began my morning with a check in on the Two Writing Teachers' blog to see what is in store for today's Slice Challenge. There was a link to a blog post, "Power-less" by Michelle Haseltine at One Grateful Teacher. Reading her post made me think about the struggle my students face when they think they don't have anything to write about. As I face this Slice of Life monthly challenge, I am understanding their fear and feelings about this. I know that Lucy Calkins tells us to notice the every day, notice the little things - keep a writer's notebook and always jot what you see, think, feel into it. This, I do not do. I have never considered myself a writer, BUT I strive to be what my students need, therefore, a writer I must become. Michelle's post brought home the power (no pun intended) to notice what is around us...or what isn't there - in her case, power.  This is my goal - to notice and write.

I love that the Two Writing Teachers are introducing me to new blogs and colleagues to read and learn from.

Thank you Michelle for this morning's inspiration and TWT for pushing me out of my comfort zone!

A Work in Progress

My students work quite a bit on writing fiction, so I wanted to work on writing a bit of fiction with my students.

A Work in Progress:

The washing machine thundered as the clothes spun like a tornado. Curious, the kitten poked his head through the kitty door and slunk down the stairs into the laundry room. THUMP! BUMP! The kitten ducked his head and spread himself as flat as a pancake against the base of the stair. He was sure no one could see him. He felt like a lion camouflaged in the tall grass of the savannah. Keeping low to the floor, he slid over the edge of stair, moving slowly and precisely one stair at a time to the bottom of the steps. The washing machine's window showed clothes tumbling and suds bubbling. The kitten crouched below the window and watched. He waited. His whiskers pulled forward; his pupils grew, the black, opening wide. He continued watching, waiting for the right time. He squatted on his haunches, shook his rear, and pounced - BAM! He ran right into the glass. The kitten seemed dazed as he fell backwards. Shaking his head back and forth, he cleared his mind and refocused. Around and around - the clothes were beckoning him. He pounced again.

Writing Workshop: Show Don't Tell

My students have been busy during our writing workshop over the past few weeks. They have been working on writing fiction, specifically spooky stories. The jumping off point was a picture that I used for a quickwrite prompt at the beginning of the month from Meg Hicks.

This became the setting of their stories. Students worked on writing their original draft of the story in their writing notebooks. During this time, we had mini lessons related to overused words and vivid verbs (read this post). Once drafts were completed, students typed that draft using Google Drive. Then revisions began. Their first task was to find all their verbs and replace with vivid verbs, revising the sentences.

As students worked through this, I was conferencing with them about "show don't tell" and making sure they included a fully developed problem in their story.  I had a chance to read everyone's draft last weekend, and had an "uh-oh" moment. I realized that many of my students had just listed actions in their stories - there was no real problem, no elaboration. So I reached out to what has become my teaching support group on Voxer. They provided much needed support - not only with ideas to help my students, but also stating that they in fact have this issue with many of their students. Doesn't it always make you feel better to know you're not alone?!

I crafted my lessons for the following week to address this technique of elaboration in writing. We began by looking at a handout that showed "tell" sentences vs. "show" sentences. I had my students notice and note what the differences were between these. A few things they said were that the show sentences really helped them, as readers, imagine what was going on. They noted specifically the use of adjectives, vivid verbs, as well as description of body language and emotion.

Then we tried our hand at taking a boring "telling" sentence and changing it to a "showing" sentence by adding descriptives to the subject and object and changing the verb from an overused to a vivid verb based on different emotions. Our boring sentence was: The boy ran up the stairs. I walked around in front of them acting out the emotion I wanted them to use. As I acted, they guessed the emotion (example: sad, excited, scared). I asked them how they knew if I hadn't told them, which got them to name what I did with my face and my body. Then they crafted a sentence expressing what they had seen.

The last thing we did was to look at two paragraphs. I gave them the least descriptive to start - "tell" paragraph.

Jessie tied his shoelaces.  He couldn’t seem to tie them.  He was feeling kind of sick.  The big game today would decide who would be champions – state champions.  Playing goalie wasn’t ever easy.  He knew if he wasn’t at his best today, the team would probably lose. He grabbed his jacket.  He walked out the door.  “Bye, Mom,” he said.  “I’ll see you later at the game.”  He walked to the bus stop.

We read it together and I asked them to tell me what they thought about it. Could they imagine the scene? How did the main character feel in this paragraph? What did the author do to let you know as a reader?

Then I gave them the "show" version.

Jessie fumbled with his shoelaces.  He couldn’t seem to tie them with his shaking hands.  A sickening feeling in his stomach was creeping up into his throat.  The big game today would decide who would be champions – state champions.  Playing goalie wasn’t ever easy.  He knew if he wasn’t at his best today, the team would probably lose.  As he grabbed his jacket, he shook his head to clear his mind.  His legs felt like spaghetti noodles as he trudged down the steps while holding on to the banister.  “Bye, Mom,” he called out weakly.  “I’ll see you later at the game.”  He swallowed hard and walked to the bus stop.

The light went on! They had the "aha" moment. They were excited by the changes the author made and immediately named techniques the author used, citing examples from the paragraph that showed these changes.

They now have a clear understanding of what it means to write descriptively as an author so that their reader can really visualize their story.  Now we are working to implement these techniques in our drafts. It is a long process, but it is so exciting to see them really trying and growing as authors!

How do you help your students learn about revision strategies?

Beginning Revisions - Vivid Verbs

It's been quite a while since I posted. Sorry about that but things have been crazy! Tonight's will be a quick post, just updating you as to what's happening in my classroom.

We have been writing spooky stories. Students have completed writing their initial draft of their stories. Towards the end of last week, they began typing their drafts. We use Google Drive as their portfolio, which will build through the remainder of their time at our school. So, last week everyone learned how to log on to Google Drive, begin a new document, name it and share it with me. Most students finished typing their draft last week, so tomorrow we'll begin revisions.

My first revision lesson has to do with vivid verbs.  We have a funeral for the overused words like said, walk, ran, etc. Then students generate a list of alternate verbs that are more descriptive. I will read our mentor text, Stellaluna, and have students jot down vivid verbs they hear in the story. We'll go through and share those and discuss the author's deliberate use of word choice. Next, we'll have a quick activity of practicing vivid verb word choice with a set of task cards. This allows the students to get up and move around the room and get their brains creating.  Finally, students will highlight the verbs they used in their stories and try and replace them with more descriptive vivid verbs. This is always an exciting revision to begin with because students can really see how their word choice improves their stories.

If you're interested in some vivid verbs for display in your room or practice for your students, visit my Teacherspayteachers store, Are We There Yet?